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A full circle

When my PhD project came to a close, I wasn’t really sure what path I wanted to follow. I felt a little abandoned too, I never discussed options or strategies with my supervisor. Also, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to stay in academia, perhaps a job with more strict deadlines or short term rewards would fit me better? My field is evolutionary biology/ecology, and I have pretty extensive knowledge on Dutch flora and fauna that could help find a more applied ecological job. 

Even before my thesis was finished I found a temp job working for the government evaluating ecological assessments (finishing my thesis in the weekend and one crazy Christmas holiday, for any PhD-candidates reading this; don’t!). This task proved too repetitive for me but it provided a quick introduction into Dutch nature legislation and policy and after a few months I moved on (or more accurately bluffed my way in) to work for a consultancy firm as an ecological consultant. I loved the status that title gave me, and the fact that I could just bike to work and all the facilities (a company phone, a company car, business cards, how easily impressed I was…). But I realized really quickly that this wasn’t my kind of work. Ecological consultants can be invaluable when it comes to help assess risks and minimize ecological damage, but most of my fellow ecologists had too little knowledge to do that properly and not enough self-knowledge to worry about that. I remember feeling utterly inadequate because people would ask me to write a report but nobody could explain to what standard it should hold. I never felt more stupid in my life until my husband told me that poker isn’t a difficult game either but someone will have to teach you the rules before you can play. 

It was time to move on and I found a job at an NGO that collects data on Dutch bird populations with help of citizen science. We would inform governmental agencies and policy makers on the state of bird populations and their ecosystems and aid Dutch Birdlife with organizing awareness projects. My job was that of project leader and I like to think I was pretty good at it. I had to streamline data from fieldworkers through researchers (most of them academics) who would do the analyses, into a readable report for laymen. On the one hand I understood the difficulties involved in field work and data collecting, at the same time I could persuade the researchers to let go of the data at some point because we really had to meet a deadline (and the data would never be perfect). I would help write the final report and felt pretty involved. But I really started to miss scientific research, the possibility of trying to answer questions that would go deeper than ‘How are the oystercatchers holding up?’ Answer; not so well.
 
Also, my husband had just switched back from consultancy work to a post doc at a university and I could see how his enthusiasm for research was rekindled. I had two job interviews for post doc positions at that time, ending up second on both occasions. When my contract couldn’t be extended at the NGO for lack of funding, I wasn’t too sad to leave but worried about finding something else in the midst of the European crisis. And then I got a call from my old supervisor. She needed a post doc on rather short notice to help put a troubled project back on track. Would I be interested?  

Writing this I am already two years into that project (one more year to go) and I loved all of it. I love being able to plan my own work, to see data come in and start puzzling on the results, I love having young students that gradually become just as enthusiastic about their projects as I am. Of course some things I didn’t like about academia but chose to forget are creeping back in; the feeling you’re never really finished, working on weekends, the insecurity of being able to continue in academia and having friends all over the planet meaning you don’t spend much time with them. Oh and the Big One; The feeling of not being clever enough for this work in the long run. Also, my previous career switching will definitely  have consequences for my future career path. Compared to my peers, I have a gaping hole in my publication record, I can forget about a tenure track position. I hope to get a grant to continue with this marvelous project a little longer, but at some point I will have to consider other jobs outside of academia. When that time comes, I know I will at least be prepared and that there are really interesting and challenging jobs outside of academia out there. And that things have a way of working out, just not always the way you expected.

Pasted: May 27, 2014, 2:00:54 pm
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